she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
