At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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