I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
