Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
