I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
