i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
