i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
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