It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
