I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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