Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
