Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize