i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Randomize
