'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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