he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
