Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
