if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
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