she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Randomize
