glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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