party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
