I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Randomize
