this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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