we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize