nut hugger
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Randomize
