Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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