I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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