ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
