youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
