Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
