no, he came in my armpit
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Randomize
