You surviving the open bar?
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She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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