i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
