I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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