You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
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