Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
