Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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