She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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