Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize
