I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
