I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize