I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
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My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
My ass is underappreciated
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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