Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
