Texts From Last Night

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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Your mouth is God's brothel.

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  (609): Your mouth is God's brothel. http://tfl.nu/epk5
  Replies (0) Good night (1264) Bad night (592)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.

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  (214): New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises. http://tfl.nu/b9dr
  Replies (14) Good night (707) Bad night (2761)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...

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  (781): Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa... http://tfl.nu/bbhr
  Replies (18) Good night (5034) Bad night (1057)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  Best. Handjob. Ever.

  (905): View more from Ontario

  I'm guessing Kelly is over?

  (416): View more from Toronto

  Nope. Home alone.

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  (416): Best. Handjob. Ever. (905): I'm guessing Kelly is over? (416): Nope. Home alone. http://tfl.nu/vpw4
  Replies (20) Good night (6010) Bad night (3014)
• Favorite

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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  (270): I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy. http://tfl.nu/gapv
  Replies (28) Good night (5395) Bad night (1033)
• Favorite

  (972): View more from Texas

  the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.

  (214): View more from Texas

  elevator sex. pronto.

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  (972): the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me. (214): elevator sex. pronto. http://tfl.nu/j5vd
  Replies (5) Good night (2722) Bad night (932)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.

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  (781): Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave. http://tfl.nu/vplg
  Replies (21) Good night (852) Bad night (5696)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.

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  (402): I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing. http://tfl.nu/1xq6
  Replies (2) Good night (617) Bad night (871)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...

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  (720): What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book... http://tfl.nu/q46p
  Replies (5) Good night (1247) Bad night (343)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?

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  (616): My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right? http://tfl.nu/u00i
  Replies (5) Good night (473) Bad night (990)
• Favorite

  (765): View more from Indiana

  I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.

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  (765): I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community. http://tfl.nu/6jel
  Replies (0) Good night (417) Bad night (319)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  I will have no part of this.

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  (423): I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down. (423): I will have no part of this. http://tfl.nu/im0o
  Replies (3) Good night (376) Bad night (823)
• Favorite

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'

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  (902): they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway' http://tfl.nu/m8pz
  Replies (5) Good night (611) Bad night (219)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX

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  (602): FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX http://tfl.nu/s82z
  Replies (8) Good night (622) Bad night (223)
• Favorite

  (872): View more from Illinois

  i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.

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  (872): i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going. http://tfl.nu/c51c
  Replies (4) Good night (477) Bad night (109)

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