Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.