I heard we made out
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way