so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
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I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
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i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.