I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.