ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Randomize
