so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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