Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Randomize
