I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
