when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
