We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
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Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
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He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
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