I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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