Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
