You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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