Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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