I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
