i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
