her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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