Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize