happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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