and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
